The Birth Story of Isabella Anne...

After what I considered to be a traumatic experience with the birth of my first child in a hospital I knew when I found out that I was pregnant that I wanted something different this time around. I knew for sure that I didn't want any drugs involved this time. I wanted to labor in the comfort of my own home for as long as possible and I really wanted to give water birth a go.
When my midwife, Leanne suggested home birth I thought no way. That is so not for me, I am a control freak and go over the top with safety and wouldn't even consider the risk of something going wrong. She had planted a seed though and after a few weeks thinking about it and reading amazing home birth stories and watching you tube videos I realized that it was everything I never knew I wanted for my baby's birth. I had no real reason to go to hospital, I didn't want drugs, I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible, I wanted a water birth, my pregnancy wasn't high risk and the biggest thing for me was that I hate hospitals, so why not give it a go.
I can still remember telling Leanne and thinking how great it felt to make that choice for myself and my baby. I still very much doubted my ability to follow through with it and even asked her if I could change my mind halfway through and go to the hospital which she assured me would be fine, as long as it wasn't too late.
As my little girl grew inside me I also found that my confidence in myself and my ability to go through with a home birth grew each day. It was a little confronting when Leanne dropped off the pool. Even though I could still back out at any time there was something very final and decisive about having everything here and ready to go.
On the day our little girl, Isabella was due I woke up at 4am with braxton hicks contractions that were 5 minutes apart and not painful at all. These contractions lasted all day but nothing else was happening so we took a drive out to Kai Iwi lakes to visit some friends that were camping out there. It was then that things started to change and the contractions became uncomfortable but not really painful. We decided to cut our visit short and head for home around 8.30pm, just in case. On the drive back I started to get excited as things were starting to get painful, Isabella was finally on her way.
When we got home everything stopped, our flat mate had some friends over for drinks so my partner and I decided to head to bed but I couldn't sleep so I got up and joined the gathering on our back deck. From where I was sitting I could see the clock on the oven and started timing out my contractions at 5 minutes apart again but they weren't very painful.
At midnight I got rather uncomfortable so I went off to the toilet and while in there I had my show. I went back into the kitchen as our friends were leaving and told them it wouldn't be long now and we all shared in the excitement of the moment before I decided that I should get some sleep before the real contractions started.
My body had other plans though because just as I snuggled down at 1.50am I got my first painful contraction. From my first contraction I didn't get a break at all they were coming all the time but at all different times some only 2 minutes apart others as much as 14 minutes apart.
By 8am I thought it might be the real thing so I rang the back up midwife, Anne as Leanne had the weekend off, she said it sounded like I was in the latent phase of labor and I should call her when the contractions became regular. They didn't get any more regular but they did get stronger. I remember saying to my friend that if this was what the early labor contractions were like that there was no way I could go through the whole thing it hurt too much.
Sometime in the afternoon I had a break from contractions and managed to sleep for an hour or so. When they started up again and were still irregular, I thought nothing was going to happen. The midwife rang and I told her that they had eased off a bit and would be in touch when we were in active labor with regular contractions.
I decided to try and get things going by walking up and down the street and going for a drive but nothing I tried was making things progress so I decided around 8pm to go to bed and see if I could sleep but the contractions got stronger.
My partner, Chris decided I should call the midwife but I didn't think there was any point because I still wasn't in active labor with regular contractions so I yelled at him that if he wanted to call her he could. He called her and explained the situation and she said the same thing, it sounded like nothing had changed but thankfully he was insistent and she decided to come and check me.
Once he hung up my contractions started coming every 2 minutes and lasting a minute long which confused me because when my contractions did that with my son I was pushing. I was dreading the midwife checking me as I thought she was going to tell me that I was only 1-2 centimeters dilated and if that was the case I had already decided I was going to ask to go to the hospital for an epidural so I could get some sleep!
When the midwife got here about 20 minutes later she checked me and my heart just about stopped when she said well, you are almost fully dilated you better fill the birth pool if you want a water birth. I couldn't believe I had made it through my whole labor without even knowing. I had been saving my rescue remedy and birth aid for active labor so we got those out. My partner got the bottles of water out of the fridge that we had saved up for the hours of labor I had been planning on suffering through. Everyone made a mad dash to fill the pool. I just sat there in shock and waited for another contraction but they were back to being irregular again.
As soon as the pool had enough water in it I got in and the midwife broke my waters which were bulging through my cervix. After that things became more intense. I asked my partner to stay with me then and I gripped onto both of his hands while kneeling in the pool and breathed through each contraction as best I could. After each contraction I would cry about how much it hurt but I was also so proud of what I was doing. I didn't think I was going to cope but after about 3 very strong contractions it was time to push and push I did. I turned over onto my back and my partner held me up under the arms while I squatted/floated in the pool.
I figured if it was going to hurt I should do it fast like ripping off a band aid so I pushed so hard her head just about came out on the first go. With the next contraction I managed to get her head out and when her head came out she went crazy and was kicking wriggling inside and out at the same time and it was horribly painful so when the midwife told me to push my response was but she's hurting me! Like that matters when you get to that point.
With one last big push she came rushing out but I didn't get to catch her like I had planned because the cord was wrapped twice very tightly around her neck. Once the cord was removed though she needed no other assistance. The midwife placed her on my chest and I knew she was ok even before she let out a good strong cry.
I delivered the placenta naturally while she had cuddles with daddy then climbed into bed for cuddles and her first feed. I was very shocked that I only had one little graze but nowhere near as shocked as I was when the midwife went from telling me I was only in the latent phase to telling me I was about to give birth.
All up from the time the midwife arrived it was just over an hour and I was holding my much awaited little girl in my arms. It was great not having to worry about making the trip home from the hospital. Being able to focus all of our attention on getting to know this beautiful baby girl that had just entered our lives in the most natural way. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had and would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Our Birth Story from the Mans point of view...

When Amanda took the test and it came back positive, I was excited, but inside me something held me back a little. After a recent miscarriage I was a little uneasy. The months flew by, scans, photographs, watching Amanda's' belly grow, feeling her first kick and talking to her and watching how she reacted to my voice, and in the bath was an amazing experience for a first time dad. I am proud that I had so much to do with interacting with her inutero, I would recommend it to any father to be, first time or on the next round.

I was right behind Amanda's decision to have bubs at home, after talking to her about her previous birth in a hospital and how things went I wanted to help her in anyway I could to make this birth as smooth and comfortable as possible. I was unsure of what exactly it entailed, but when shown the options I soon understood, and being shown a few videos and reading a few pamphlets helped even more, so much so that I liked the idea of Amanda giving birth at home.

After the months ticked away and Amanda's belly looked ready to burst the time finally came. She told me of each braxton hicks contraction, and how things were progressing. When she finally had her show I was the picture of excitement, I rolled over and went back to sleep, so supportive.
I woke the next morning to Amanda still having the irregular contractions and we started to time them. She called the midwife and told me of her advice and I read some books and magazines about labor, and other things to pass the time. We timed the contractions for the whole day and never once picked up on the length of them, just the spacing.
After a whole day of these contractions finally getting torturous I pestered her till she caved and let me ring the midwife, a short call and the midwife asking if I would like her to come check on Amanda it was a waiting game, the 20 or 30 minutes it took her to get here seemed like forever. The midwife checked Amanda and told us we'd better get the pool filled if we wish to use it, so the mad panic started to get everything sorted that I admit I sometimes forgot the number one priority, mum!

Finally we got the pool full enough for Amanda to climb in, and a few photos and setting up the camera so we could look back on the beautiful moment unfolding in our own home, it was go time. Our friends kept the boiling jugs of water coming to try and keep the temperature right, I kept a hold of Amanda and offered words of support as the midwives went around us and did their thing suggesting positions and how to hold her up.

Amanda screamed out and next thing there was our little girls head, the first comments of how much hair were all I heard before I found the mirror for Amanda to see her crowning, and felt huge excitement that the moment was almost here. Another couple of screams and our little girl was all the way out and there was an air of calm panic, if there is such a thing, as i heard mention of the cord being around her neck. I freaked out, I wasn't sure what this meant, what next? Was she okay? The midwives had her unwrapped in no time and on mums shoulder. There I had my first real glimpse of our little girl, a few seconds anxious wait and she let out a little gurgle and a cry and then I could breathe even though something in me knew she was okay even before that moment.

Cutting the cord was awesome, I know you see it all over the television and movies, but its amazing how tough that stuff is! Mum was tended to by the midwives while I got to have a cuddle with our little Isabella, and to show her to our friends, she felt so tiny in my hands. She was talkative and looked so healthy. I was so proud of mum and how well she coped through everything with no pain killers, not once did she try and back out and get to the delivery suite. I would definitely go through the home birth again, it is so nice to be able to cuddle with your new baby in the comfort of your own home, own room and not have to worry about leaving them and not getting a real chance to share a moment with them.

Amanda got settled into bed and took Isabella for her first real cuddles after cleaning up and set into the motions of breast feeding, as the midwife filled out her notes, Isabella had a little trouble getting latched on and after coercing with my little finger to try to get her into the idea of suckling, she latched on to mum and had a little feed then settled off to sleep in bed with a very happy mum and I.

Connor James Fowke   13/09/06

Connor had been planned for about 2 years, before we become brave enough to action the plan.
Finally his journey began in 2006. We were soooooo organized. (Like I said 2 years in the planning) Preggie Yoga, the pink kit, acupuncture, walking every day, birthing pool, books and more books, to the cat choosing our mid wife –Mary Anne.
My Mother booked her plane ticket of the 23rd- Connors due date. My dear friend was flying back from Tonga couple of day before, because the first born is always late right!!!!
I finished work 2 weeks before to give me time to do all the last minute things. My Dad was coming up 10 days before to help.
Well Connor had a different plan (a good first lesson in children).
About 12am on the 13th of sept I got up and went of a very long wee, half asleep I didn’t think much about it.  Got back into bed arranged my million pillows and snuggled down to go back to sleep. Then thought oh no I need to go to the toilet again grump grump and grump. But this time I didn’t make it to the toilet. By now I was awake and the brain was starting to work.
I woke Chris we got the watch out and waiting. The first contraction came and went, and we waiting and waiting. Trying very hard to do what our mid wife had said, we stayed in bed trying to rest. At about 2am 3 or 4 contractions later and a bit of blood it got the better of me and I texted Mary-Anne and Chris got up to light the fire. Mary-Anne texted back rest as much as you can, ring if the contraction become shorter if not she would be around about 7am.
My Dad was due to fly in at about 8am that morning. Had to ring to say we wouldn’t be at the airport. We are a bit busy.  Chris’s Mum Lyn turned up along with Mary-Anna. By now I was 8cm-great I thought this is nearly over. (what did I know)
Mary-Anna said right lets get the birthing pool up. Chris and I looked at each and said we don’t have it. Mary-Anne jumped on phone and got one organized. Chris went to pick it up.
As soon as he was gone I started to panic. It all felt very scary. In the middle for my next contraction I thought what happens if Chris as an accident. Before my next contraction Chris was back, no accident, birthing pool in toe.
I rang my mother and sister while I had still remember how to use the phone and talk.
The birthing pool was up and just in time because the contractions were coming thick and fast.
By now I must have been making a bit of noise, because the neighbour 2 houses down came to make sure nothing terrible was happening.
I wouldn't let go of Chris even for a toilet break (for him that is).
At about 11.30am I had had enough and decided I couldn't do it any more. Our lovely kind softly spoken midwife was gone and in her place was a task master. Telling me I could and will do it.
It just wasn't happening in the pool so we tried the birthing stood. That’s when I saw the scissors. That was enough to scare me into the last pushers that were needed.
At 12pm on the 13th of Sept the world became a brighter place and we fell in love with Connor James Fowke.
Thanks to our task master Mary Anne we think you are great.

13.03.2000

I woke up on my due date with a really peaceful butterfly feeling in my tummy, but didn’t get too excited until about 6 pm. I got my first contraction, like a period cramp, at 4 pm and by 7pm they were five minutes apart. Very excited, I rang Tina, just in case she wanted to grab some sleep.
I laboured through the night with the contractions getting stronger. Mark rubbed my back as I rocked through them. Luckily I had got a couple of videos for the occasion because I wasn’t able to sleep and they helped pass the time. I remember feeling really excited, but calm at the same time.
I rang Tina in the morning and she came round at about 8 to inform me I was 4-5 cm dilated and well on my way. The contractions kept getting stronger and I hopped in the birth pool about 9. I immediately enjoyed the freedom to move around easily between contractions.
The contractions were coming harder and faster now so we rang Tina at about 10:30. Tina and Val arrived ½ an hour later and I was still smiling – but only between contractions now! They were getting pretty intense now and I could feel the pressure of the baby pushing down.
The first urge to push took me by complete surprise –such a powerful physical feeling. I managed to breathe through a couple of contractions but then I had to push!
I got a bit frightened then but Tina and Val were great – Helping me to push down rather than scream and I found it easier to focus as they showed me where to push. It’s so amazing to really feel what’s happening to your body – I could feel the baby moving down as I pushed and retreating a bit (much to my dismay) as the contraction ended.
Once the head was crowning Tina suggested I change positions and she supported me in a squat and with one more push Val caught our beautiful baby. I held her for a short while in the pool and then Mark took her while I delivered the placenta and had a quick shower.
The best part came next; Mum, Dad and new baby all and a sleep together, after we had gazed at our beautiful baby.
I feel really lucky to be able to look back on Tahlia’s birth and remember it as a peaceful, empowering experience that Mark and I shared together.

27.01.2005

Kasey’s birth was an amazingly powerful experience. Being 10 days overdue I had the opportunity to savour every little movement and really enjoyed the time focussing on just baby and me. Everyone else however was eagerly (or impatiently) awaiting the time they would meet this new wee soul.
Day 9 (after a few false alarms over the past 2 weeks) bought the 1st feelings of ‘ok, it’s time to come out’ and I booked in for acupuncture, feeling that somehow we weren’t quite making the right connection, one of us was holding back. Acupuncture for me turned out to be a really spiritual experience and I felt an overwhelming emotional release, a ‘letting go’ and then a really peaceful calm, we were ok now.
That night I woke at 10 with a reasonably strong pain and got up to start filling the pool. After a couple of these pains I got Mark up too, and Marks mum woke up. Everyone was getting excited. Nothing really progressed so I sent the others back to bed and tried to sleep myself. The pains kept coming, and so did daylight! I rang mum (in Auckland) around 7 but told her I didn’t there was a need to rush. Then I rang Val to let her know we might be needing her later. I tried to keep busy (pausing for contractions). The girls and I made bikkies, Mark and I went for a walk. Still, by the afternoon the contractions were still there and slowly getting stronger. I felt the need for some alone time, as we were all just sitting around waiting.
I retreated to my room with a Swiss ball and found peace just rolling around talking to my baby, reassuring us both that things would progress when the time was right, surrendering to the whole birthing process.
Mid afternoon I paged Val as I’d had a couple of stronger contractions that I’d had to rock through and she came and joined the waiting game. I joked that it’d all stop now that she had come. Funnily enough it seemed almost like that. There were long periods between sets of strong contractions. I really relaxed between times. It was as if we needed a rest to gather strength.
Around 5: 30 things started heating up. I would lean against the table taking all the weight on my arms and just let the rest go. I kept talking to the baby, reassuring her it was ok. It still seemed like ages between contractions, even though they were now every 3-4 minutes. It always surprises me how between contractions it is like you’re not even in labour. Enya was playing in the background and was really soothing.
By6:20 I could feel lots of pressure in my pelvis during the contractions and making great groaning noises during the contractions. Time to get in the pool. I love the birth pool! It is great to have such freedom of movement.
I was now completely focused on what I was feeling. It’s an amazing feeling, just surrendering, and working with your body. I loved the sound I was making even, a funny thing to be aware of, a deep gutteral groaning. It seemed to help.
After ½ an hour or so came that first urge to push. There’s just no controlling it, and as in my previous labours it took me by surprise and gave me a bit of a fright. It is so powerful. I was aware of Val’s talking, telling me to take a breath, and wait for my body to do the work, to work with it. I remember talking to myself, and my baby (in my head), saying ‘it’s ok, just let it come’, and feeling really excited but scared at the same time. Not frightened scared, but a realisation that it’s out of my ‘brain’ control scared. More surrendering needed! And then I was ready. (All this was probably in less than a minute!).
I could hear Mark and Val making reassuring comments but at the same time was not really aware of anything other than what was happening to me. Then Val said ‘put your hand down Nikki and feel your baby’s head. Even as I write this I feel that same powerful emotional response. Another push, or maybe 2, and the head was here (the hard part over!) My baby was really here, I could feel it, I was so happy and excited. Now completely focused on what I had to do. Another push. I heard Val ‘catch your baby Nikki’, the shoulders were out.
I remember feeling her neck and trying to hold her. Then another push and my lovely baby was here, just as the doorbell rung and Tina arrived. It was perfect timing as the girls heard the doorbell and came in just as I was lifting our wonderful baby up, to cuddle her for the first time. I even remember the dopey grin I had on my face, I couldn’t stop smiling.
How amazing – to reach down and catch my own baby, to bring this little soul out of the water to take her first breath! Wow!
I held her for a while, and latched her to the breast but couldn’t quite feel comfortable. So I hopped out of the pool. Then I realised the value of the water. On land I could hardly stand so alternated between standing and sitting. Meanwhile the girls were looking on and cooing. Gemma looked intrigued by the long cord attaching mum to baby.
The weight too much to bear so we went to lay on the bed and about 40 minutes later pushed out the placenta. Val was great explaining to the girls how it all worked and what all the parts were for. We were all amazed at how the baby fitted into this compact little sack. When I felt it was ok, Mark cut the cord, the girls declining the offer, and we all settled in for cuddles.
I felt like the luckiest mum, having had three beautiful girls at home. Now, still with a love-sick grin, I reflect on how lucky and privileged I am to have people (midwives, husband and nanas) who trust in me and my ability to birth my babies in the loving surrounds of home.

 

24.10.1994, Labour Day

Valentine‘s Day, 1994, was a memorable one for Jason and me! Jason gave me a beautiful and sexy valentine‘s gift to wear, I handed him a positive pregnancy test.
The pregnancy came as a shock to both of us. Two fiercely independent people, we hadn‘t (yet?) invisaged a lifelong commitment as a couple, let alone taking on the responsibilities that came along with having a child.
I had just returned from overseas and had planned to start postgraduate studies at Auckland University.
…and now I was pregnant.
I was surprised that after a few weeks of emotional turmoil an immense feeling of well-being and joy set in. I embraced the journey that lay ahead of me.
Jason got used to the idea of becoming a family man and soon told family and friends (with some pride?) that he was going to be a dad.
I chose to have a homebirth early on in my pregnancy. I was a fit and healthy 30-year-old woman and I disliked hospitals. My mother had always spoken about my own birth (a gentle interventionfree hospital birth) in a very positive and empowering manner. I also thought of my beautiful maternal grandmother, Luise, who had all of her 9 children at home.
The reactions of family and friends upon my anouncement that I‘d have a homebirth ranged from,‘‘ Oh wow, you‘re brave! What about the pain?‘‘ to,‘‘ What if something happens, as a vet you should know better!‘‘
With Lynley McFarland as my midwife, I felt safe and supported in my choice to have a homebirth. I continued with my vegetarian diet, having been a vegetarian for ethical reasons since my late teens.
I continued to work, mostly part time.
About three weeks before the due date, I fractured my right arm, in severel places, tripping over in the garden. Luckily Jason had just come home from fishing (he was a commercial fisherman then). A rushed trip to A&E put Jason and me at ease about our child‘s well-being and I left the hospital with my right arm reset and, fingertips to shoulder, in a very heavy plaster of paris. The last weeks of the pregnancy became very uncomfortable, with a constant dull pain in my arm and a heavy plaster pulling on my shoulder. At night I had to lie on my back due to the plaster, a very uncomfortable postion being 9 months pregnant. Jason had to go back to sea and I learnt to do everthing with my left hand.
I was looking forward to my parents arriving from Germany to be with us for the birth. They arrived ten days before Louise was born. My parents were fantastic. I received daily full body massages from my mum and delicous home-cooked meals. My dad revealed, until that date, unknown qualities in housecleaning and grocery shopping.
Our baby was due on labour weekend.
Saturday morning, a day before the due date, I went for a walk with my mum. I remember telling her that I felt like walking around with a watermelon between my legs. We both laughed. I was also aware of a strange humming sensation on my cervix. It wasn‘t painful in any way, just new and unusual. Later that afternoon, my mum gave me another wonderful massage. There was a lingering, dull pain in my lower back. I kept those sensations to myself. Jason had come home from fishing the day before to stay at home, awaiting the arrival of our child. After dinner, everyone but me went to bed. I remained in the lounge with a longing to be by myself.
About 11p.m. I deceided to have a shower so I wrapped a plastic bag around my plastered arm and turned the hot water on. The water felt good on my lower back
and I gently moved my body like a bellydancer in slow motion. Looking down over
my beautiful round belly I noticed a little lump of mucous and blood swirling around
in the water and I remember thinking,‘‘ Ah, this is what a show looks like.‘‘I noticed that my backpain intesified and that period-pain-like waves rippled over my belly. I got out of the shower, dried myself, and returned to the lounge. More intense waves gripped my body. I felt an amazing sense of excitement and calmness at the same time. The thought of seeing and holding my child in my arms soon flashed through my mind, I was ready. Another tight band went across my belly. I thought that I‘ll better get my watch now to see how far apart those contractions might be. Those contractions seemed to become more and more powerful.
I automatically leaned on the sofa and held my breath (this is not what you should do). Since getting out of the shower only about 15 minutes had passed and I now had strong, regular contractions. I found myself leaning over the sofa, continously staring at my watch, a contraction every 3 minutes. I wasn‘t thinking about waking Jason or my mum. In my head I had the textbook paragraphs that said that first time labours on average take 8 hours. I was happy being on my own, observing and feeling my body getting ready to birth my child. It felt safe being in my own familiar space. I was on my hands and knees most of the time, leaning over the sofa whenever a wave gripped my body.½ hour had passed since I had gotten out of the shower when my mum appeared in the lounge. She must have had a feeling that her grandchild was about to arrive soon. She took one look at me, crouching over the sofa, staring at my watch, and said, “Eva, I think it‘s time to call your midwife now.“ The next contraction came, I held my breath again (this is not what I had read in the books and been advised at the prenatal stretching classes to do) and then I replied to my mum something along the lines, that I didn‘t want to wake the midwife in the middle of the night and then for her to wait for hours for the baby to come. My mum smiled and then urged me to call Lynley. Another contraction took my breath away and then I thought, yeah, it may well be a good idea to call Lynley now. I phoned Lynley, having another contraction while talking to her. Lynley said, that she‘d be round shortly. She arrived about 15 minutes later to find me sitting on the toilet, insisting that I needed to poo. (A posterior baby was moving down!) Contractions were very strong .
Jason had meanwhile woken up as well, busying himself in the kitchen making coffee (which noone really wanted or had time for). I was coaxed back into the lounge. Lynley asked to do a quick examination. I was fully dilated.
Jason had spread plasticsheets and towels on the loungefloor. I moved towards the sofa, kneeling on all fours or hugging an armchair. I seemed to me that there was a continous stream of contractions now and no time between them to relax and focus and gather strength. I felt exhausted and overwhelmed by what was happening. There were encouraging words from my mum and Lynley that I was doing well. They tried to get me to breathe throughout contractions.
I wanted to say that I had changed my mind about a homebirth and that I wanted to go to hospital NOW and have a general anaestetic and a caesarian section. But another contraction came and with it this very intense burning sensation. Lynley and my mum
kept telling me to breathe and that my baby was nearly here. The next contraction came and the burning sensation became even stronger, and again I held my breath.
Jason had been hovering around in the background. Lynley called out to him. She asked me to change to a squatting position and suggested to Jason to sit behind me. Lynley said,“ Eva, your baby is coming, let it out“. With the next contraction I reluctantly
pushed. There was a plop and a gush of water, my waters had broken. Now everything happened very quickly. During the next contraction I heard my mum say,‘‘ Oh, oh, there
is the head, I can see black hair!‘‘ Only then I did realise, how far I had come. I felt a
surge of energy. Another contraction, and I let go and pushed. Jason hugged me tightly and our child was born. Lynley handed me our baby which made tiny noises. I turned my head to look at Jason and saw tears rolling down his cheeks. There was an amazing feeling of completion and peace in the room.
Time stood still.
I can‘t remember who eventually suggested to find out what sex the baby was.
A girl-beautiful, perfect with lots of black hair.
My mum cut the umbilical cord.
The placenta was born.
Our daughter was very alert, her big blue eyes taking everything in.
Only when I tried to put our daughter to my breasts to have her first drink I realised how disabled I was with my still immobile, heavy, plastered arm.
During the birth it had not bothered me at all. Lynley and my mum helped our beautiful daughter to latch on. She drank eagerly, looking at me all the while.
My dad finally joined us to greet his grand-daughter.
I had another shower, put on some fresh pyjamas and joined Jason and my brand-new daughter in our bed.
My labour took 1 hour and 24 minutes from start to finish, Louise was born 24 minutes
past midnight on Sundaymorning, Labour Day.
Louise, named after her greatgrandmother and her 2 grandmothers will be
11 years old in a couple of months (this was written in August 2005).
She has grown to be a beautiful, intelligent and confident girl.
Jason and I have meanwhile been married for 9 years and have had another 3 children, all born at home.
I have learned to continue to breathe through contractions.
I am grateful to have a well functioning body perfectly made to birth children
and I continue to feel a great sense of empowerment and joy everytime I reflect on my births.

21.5.1999

Nicholas was born in Germany.
Having had a beautiful homebirth with our first baby, Louise, meanwhile a happy and healthy 4 year-old Kindergartenkid, Jason and I wished for this new child also to be born at home, in a quiet, happy, peaceful and loving environment.
We were living in Germany at the time (and what was meant to be a 1 year stay, turned into nearly 5 years in the end).
Nicholas was conceived in Swansea, Wales, the birthplace of one of his paternal great-grandfathers. After a miscarriage at the end of the 1st trimester (a sad and disheartening experience so many women have to go through) our little family had deceided a short holiday might be a good idea, and we found ourselves travelling through Wales and England for a week.
About 2 weeks after our return to Germany, a positive pregnancy test confirmed the presence of new life growing inside me.
Again I found an experienced and trusted midwife, who also very much supported the homebirth option. I also chose to continue to be in the care of a homebirth advocating gynocologist, seeing her every couple of months (alternating antenatal visits with the midwife).
I felt fit and well and enjoyed my mainly part-time work at a busy vet clinic. Again my parents, living closeby (5 minutes by bike), proved to be invaluable.
My dad picked Louise up to take her to Kindy on the days I was working and often she stayed at Oma and Opa‘s when Jason and I worked long hours.
Riding our pushbikes was our main means of transport in Germany, there we didn‘t own a car.
Heidrun, my midwife, was also trained in reflexology, so every antenatal visit was finished off with a very relaxing, sometimes invigorating footmassage.
At a routine antenatal visit with the gynocologist at about 26 weeks, I was shocked to hear that my cervix had started to open, I was 1-2 cm dilated. I was sent home with the diagnosis of an incompetent cervix and told to stop working for a few days and rest. Heidrun, the midwife, came round and taught me to do various Kegelexercises. A few days later I was reassesed, and, no, things hadn‘t improved.
I was fitted with an Arabin Pessary, a fast and totally painless procedure. An Arabin Pessary looks a bit like a rigid diaphragm with a hole in the middle. It succtions itself to the cervix, thereby preventing it from opening. This was to be left in place until a week before the due date. (In Germany suturing the cervix is considered to be an outdated and disadvantageous procedure).
At about 36 ½ weeks pregnant, on a Friday morning, I awoke feeling a bit funny. I wasn‘t working that day and so I was looking forward to hop on my bike and cycle to Kindy with Louise. Home again I realised that the ache in my lower back hadn‘t gone and now I also felt regular tightenings round my belly. I spent the morning vacuumcleaning and doing bits of housework. I also deceided to have some new passport photos done – my German passport needed renewing. At lunchtime I collected Louise from Kindi and by then I was wondering if I might be in labour. I phoned Heidrun, the midwife, described to her what I was feeling and she asked me to catch the tram (not ride my bike) and meet her at the gynocologist‘s surgery straightaway. 20 minutes later I sat there in the waiting room, having regular,but mild contractions. As my parents were away for the weekend I had left Louise with the neighbours.
Heidrun arrived at the surgery, the gynocologist examined me, confirmed that I was in labour and preceded to remove the Arabin Pessary (again a quick and painless procedure). Within ½ hour my cervix dilated to 6 cm. Heidrun drove me back home. All the while I was labouring away with regular, mild contractions. I was excited and so grateful that my pregnancy had progressed so far. The gynocologist and Heidrun were happy with my decision to procede with my plan to have a homebirth, being somewhat on the borderline at 36½ weeks pregnant.
Back home in our flat we picked Louise up from the neighbours and I phoned my brother (who lived a few houses down the road) and asked him to collect Louise. Louise was quite happy about this as her mum and Heidrun were busy putting plastic sheets on the floor and bed and had little time for her. With her uncle heaps more fun was to be had.
By early evening I was pacing the flat, leaning over chairs or hanging across the big inflatable ball, breathing into the contractions. I was waiting for Jason to arrive home from work. I finally phoned his work. He had left (sometimes he worked late ) and should have already been home.
I really, really wanted Jason to be with me now, I needed him.
About 9 p.m. Jason arrived home, blissfully unaware how much his arrival was anticipated.After work he had gone to a pub with workmates to have a few beers. I was angry and dissapointed. Why of all nights did he have to go out that night? How totally inconsiderate, I thought. At that stage I didn‘t acknoledge the fact that he had gone to work that morning thinking that the birth of our child was still a month or so away. I felt very angry and then a strange thing happened. In the timespan of about
30 minutes after Jason had arrived home, the contractions got weaker and weaker and then totally stopped. There I was, 6 cm dilated and labour had stopped. Jason felt bad and was incredibly apologetic, but, no, no more contractions… Heidrun, equipped with an extensive selection of useful homoeopathic remedies, tried her best, labour didn‘t start up again.
Just in case and hopeful, Heidrun spent the night in Louise‘s room.
The next morning, she left, asking me to ring her as soon as I felt things would start up again. Otherwise she‘d pop round in the afternoon. My anger had passed, I had forgiven Jason (still remorseful), It was Saturday and we were ready to have our baby that weekend. Louise returned home, somewhat disappointed that there wasn‘t a new sister or brother yet.
The next 6 days , my incompetent cervix proofed to be very competent. It remained 6 cm dilated.
Heidrun visited me daily, bringing with her a portable CTG each time to moniter the baby‘s wellbeing. I didn‘t venture too far from our flat anymore as I had been warned that things could suddenly progress very quickly. Jason came straight home from work all week.
Looking back now I realise that I enjoyed those quiet and restful days before the birth. Heidrun was supportive and reassuring in my decision to wait until my baby felt that it was the right time to be born. I couln‘t imagine having my baby in hospital after an induced labour.
Thursday night, just before midnight, 6 days after I had first gone into labour, I got out of the bed to go to the toilet, when a trickle of warm water started running down my legs and didn‘t stop. My waters had broken and almost in the same instant contractions started up. I woke up Jason, who wanted to precede to the kitchen to make coffee (déjà vu, same reaction at the impending birth of our daughter Louise 4 ½ years ago).‘‘ No, no, no time, I hissed at him,‘‘ Quickly, put the plastic sheets down.‘‘
I phoned Heidrun, who answered the phone almost instantly. “Eva, I have just been thinking about you, I‘ll be there shortly“ she said. 10 minutes later Heidrun arrived to find me firmly installed on the toilet (another déjà vu). But this time I readily agreed to a quick examination: fully dilated! Yeah!
Louise was fast asleep in her bed, so we decided not to phone my parents to pick her up, but to leave her sleeping.
Jason had spread the plastic sheeting and towels on our bedroomfloor. There were flowers and the soft light from the lavalamp, which seemed to have a life of its own with blobs of wax floating to the surface only to harden to form bizzare shapes.
There was a peaceful and serene atmosphere in the room. This labour was very different from my first labour with Louise. Then I felt overwhelmed by a constant stream of waves gripping my body with little or no time to relax and focus in between contractions. This time my body was riding the waves. I felt a contraction coming, gripping me tighter and tighter, there was a peak and then a blissful time when my body was totally relaxed.
Jason didn‘t get to have a coffee until Nicholas was born (5 hours later! – another posterior baby). During this birth Jason had to be my rock of strength-literally. With every contraction I had to grab hold of him, either hanging off him or leaning on him. Heidrun kept herself in the background. There were quiet words of encoragement and praise. Occasionally she would suggest a change of position: from all fours to squatting, back to hanging (off Jason). She offered me sips of water, homoeopathic Arnica and Rescue Remedy.
Slowly, very slowly our baby came into the right position to be birthed. There was this
familiar burning sensation. I grabbed hold of Jason and I pushed.
With the next contraction I went back on all fours again. That was a bad move, the
baby seemed to wiggle back and upwards. The next contraction came and Heidrun
helped me to stand up again. With my arms around Jason‘s neck I pushed. Jason
hugged me tightly, I continued to push and our baby‘s head emerged. A short pause,
a gathering of strength and with the next contraction our beautiful, healthy and big (nearly 9 pounds) son was born into Heidrun‘s hands.
Time stood still, once again… Jason and I fell in love with our new son, who found
a nipple and proceeded to drink with gusto.
After about 30 minutes (the umbilical cord had meanwhile been cut) the placenta
still hadn‘t emerged. I agreed to an i.m. ecbolic and despite Heidrun‘s gentle pulling
on the umbilical cord and massaging of my belly, no placenta appeared.
I had to face going to hospital to birth the placenta. But Heidrun suggested to phone my gynocologist at home (she was on call for any problems that might arise during a homebirth of one her patients). It was early morning, the gynocologist arrived and after an i.v. ecbolic which produced some very powerful and equally painful contractions the placenta emerged. All the while our baby son was contently snuggled up in his dad‘s arms.
It was getting lighter and lighter outside. While I had a shower, Jason walked into
Louise‘s room, baby in his arms. She had just woken up. “What have you got there,dad?“ she asked.
“This is your baby brother, Louise!“
After the midwife and gynocologist had gone the whole family retreated to bed.
Louise was so exited. She kept touching her little brother‘s hands and feet, marvelling
at their perfection…
Oma and Opa were phoned and arrived shortly afterwards.
Louise was beaming with pride, Jason made an appointment to see a chiropractor
(because his back was out) and I was starting to feel very tired…

23.8.2001

So there was a reason for my extreme moodiness and tearfulness over Christmas…
The pregnancy test I did on New Year‘s Eve 2000 turned out to be positive.
Wow,child No 3!?! Louise was 6 years old and Nicholas was a 1 ½ year old toddler.
I knew that I needed to be physically very fit to be able to not only handle but also enjoy my new pregnancy,the birth and the challenges that lay ahead of me becoming a mother of 3 young children.
I love the water and living a few minutes walk from the Whangarei Swimming Pools I started to go swimming ,daily …(and I‘m still swimming every day,time permitting) Crete became my trusted midwife for this pregnancy and birth.I learned a lot from this wise woman.
Throughout the pregnancy I was worried about my ‘‘incompetent cervix ‘ .Crete kept me grounded.
Both Louise and Nicholas took a keen interest in their mother‘s growing belly They got to know Crete well and attended numerous Homebirth Support Group meetings.They certainly learned a lot about pregnancy,birth and babies.When I made the birth plan, I noted that I was quite happy for them to be around during the birth.
My „ incompetent cervix“ again proofed to be very competent.
The baby was due on September 8th,Jason‘s birthday.
On August 21st,Louise was at school and Nicholas at creche for a morning.
I had been for a swim at the pools.It had felt so good to move about in the water and do some stretches.As I walked home from the pools , I felt a trickle of water running down my legs…and the trickle didn‘tstop.I had been having (what I thought to be) quite strong Braxton –Hicks contraction over the past few days and now my waters had broken.
At home I phoned Crete to give her some warning and also Jason (meanwhile equipped with a mobile telephone).
At lunchtime I collected Nicholas from creche.
I was waiting for more contractions to come,but now my belly felt soft and relaxed.When I spoke to Crete again later that day she advised me to take Echinacea and to let her know when things would progress.The next day came and went by almost…about 11 p.m. I deceided to have a shower. In anticipation I had been pacing round the house all day ,doing bits and pieces .But no signs of labour and now I was tired and wanted go to bed. Louise and Nicholas were fast asleep in their beds and Jason was busying himself in the garage(also in anticipation).
I got out of the shower and things started to happen.The now familiar waves of tight bands embraced my belly,becoming very powerful over the next 15 minutes.Jason came to check on me.
„Yes,I‘m in labour.I‘m fine though ,it will be a while,I‘ll let you know,when I need you!“With these words I wandered off to the bedroom.I paused in the kitchen,leaning over the kitchen table when another powerful contraction got hold of me.I felt very tired.I had just read a beautiful birthstory and I clearly remembered the woman writing that after a few hours of contractions she went to bed to have a rest and fell asleep.She‘d written that she had woken up refreshed and progressed with
her labour.This was exactly,what I had in mind.I simply felt to tired now to have my baby.
So I got into my bed - and got out of my bed a couple of minutes later. I needed to move about. This baby wanted to come out now !I went to find Jason ,“Jason,I think the baby is coming soon!“ and I phoned Crete.
Crete arrived 10 minutes before midnight and( like the midwives at my previous births upon their arrival) found me sitting on the toilet.I moved back into the lounge where Jason had laid out the plastic sheets and some towels.I moved about in the room,stopping to lean on the sofa or chair during contractions,taking drops of Rescue Remedy and sips of water in between.
About 0120 a.m. (August 23 rd) , feeling very exhausted, I remained kneeling in front of the sofa, hugging a bunch of pillows,gently rocking my body with every contraction.Crete attempted to massage my back-but,NO, I absolutly didn‘t want to be touched by anyone.Jason had also wanted to rub my back earlier and I had moved his hand away.While in labour with my first 2 babies, physical contact,esp.with Jason, was very important to me.This time it was different. I was in a space, where time and place somehow where irrelevant ,and I wanted and needed to be there by myself. I was busy giving birth,I let things happen and was in control at the same time.
20 minutes later,I stood up again . I was ready to push. Now I was thankful for Crete‘s presence and her calm and gentle guidance.With every contraction I felt my baby move down a little more.
My body and mind were all focused on the waves that brought my baby .Beautiful words were drifting towards me and a sacret energy seemed to fill the room as Crete said a Karakia.
Then our baby was born .All was very quiet,there were only a few crying noises from the little person that had just entered the world.Jason came closer to have a look and to give me a hug.
We looked at our child,another beautiful daughter with lots of black hair and delicate but strong hands.She had stopped making crying noises and looked at me.
The atmosphere in the room was one of calmness and peacefulness and magic.
After a while Crete tied the umbilical cord with flax and cut it with a greenstone.
I birthed the placenta and then handed our new daughter to Jason so I could
have a shower.
Louise had been fast asleep throughout the birth.
Nicholas had appeared in the lounge earlier on.He had briefly looked at his
Mother hugging the sofa,quietly moaning through a contraction, and had then proceeded to our bedroom to snuggle up in our bed as he did most nights.
After Crete had gone ,baby and I joined Jason and Nicholas ,who were asleep in our bed.
Jason remained sleeping, but Nicholas woke up,He fell in love with his babysister from
the moment he saw her.He was in awe.Wideeyed, he very gently caressed her face
and tiny hands and feet for hours.He was so happy when she had a long drink from
the breasts that had provided him with nourishment and comfort . There was no
jalousy, only love and amazement.
I phoned my parents in Germany to tell them about the birth of their new granddaughter.
A few hours later our big daughter Louise joined us in our bed. Like Nicholas she fell in love with her new sister in an instant.

“We’re having a homebirth, at least, that’s what we are planning…”

Every time we said this it felt like we were affirming our wish for our precious baby to be bought into the worked in the most gentle and loving way possible. But when we told people we could never be sure of the response – "Aren’t you scared?” (“I’m more scared of hospitals!”) – ‘‘What if something goes wrong?” (“We have a car!) – right down to comments that we were being irresponsible, all served to reinforce for us that birth has become so unnecessarily medicalise. Having a homebirth would be our way of proving that it is a natural process.

My own birth was one with lots of interventions – an emergency caesarian because I was overdue and went into distress – this coupled with the fact that my family are all in the medical field meant I had to say “But I am well, I don’t need a doctor” - more than once.

Simon and I have worked in hospitals and seen how hard it is for people to hold onto their wishes and dignity – the institution and often well-meaning health professionals, sweeping away the person’s needs in deference to the institutions’. I had seen only disastrous births as a student nurse and we knew that when the time came for our baby to join us, we’d want to focus on making that as safe as possible, not on having to fight for what we wanted.

We had a fantastic midwife – our friend Donna, who listened to and supported our ideas. We had chosen our rented house to fit the birthing pool in … the image was clear in our minds of our baby coming into the world in that private, cosy space.

My pregnancy was great! I felt well and was as fit as I had ever been. As the pregnancy drew to a close, I needed to sleep much of the day and focus more and more on the life inside me rather than the life outside.

We put up the birthing pool, had the baby’s first clothes in the hot water cupboard and the linen bag all ready to go….
Out of town family arrived and stayed next door…
My thoughts turned to meeting our baby – the anticipation of this outweighing my fear of the labour…
But the due date came and went.

Out of town family left, disappointed at the “no show” and I thought if I ever heard “still in one piece?” again, I would deck someone! I focussed on yoga, meditation, and visualisation to ward off the spectre of the possible complications that loomed whenever my mind went into medical mode. We also were working hard on all the ways of speeding up labour – the homeopath, the acupuncturist, and lots of hill walking etc!

On the 9th day past the due date, we met Donna at the hospital so we could check the baby and my cervix – all O.K. but no signs of the cervix changing. Full of the idea that we would now be on the way, we went home sure we would see a show, that niggles would start…. But nothing happened.

On the 11th day past the due date we went to the hospital for the second time, braving delivery suite and being hooked up to a machine to hear the sound of our baby’s healthy heartbeat and to hear the news that my cervix was still shut tight. We agreed to a scan to check that the baby was OK and then sat down to discuss the options.

It was unusual that after two sweeps nothing was changing in my cervix – our concerns about the lateness, and Donna not being prepared to wait for over 14 days, made us decide to accept an induction.

That was one of the hardest things about my labour. The grieving for that lost natural birth, the letting go of our safety, the chance to prove birth is normal and healthy, the risk that drugs and the “cascade of interventions” brings weighed very heavily on us. I felt like I had failed my baby and like I had “let the side down”. Leaving home on Friday evening was tough, not to mention sheer hard work, with the Swiss ball, pillows, music, aromatherapy, crystals, massage oil etc… we looked like we were shifting into the hospital for good, and not the reluctant arrivals we actually were.

Donna knew how hard this was for us and had made the room up like a hotel with a divan bed for Simon and little soaps on the pillows. I was hooked up to the CTG – a sound which will always be associated with that time, and the first prostin gel was inserted- we got down to the business of keeping ourselves amused and trying to sleep on the sleepless mattress.

Next day, more prostin, no change in my cervix, but Donna was concerned that she could push the baby’s head out of my pelvis when she did a vaginal exam. Was my pelvis too small? This galvanised me – the fear of a caesarian looming outweighed the defeat and failure I felt at losing our homebirth. Our focus became having a vaginal delivery and I felt reconnected to my sense of purpose. I exercised, meditated and did visualisation exercises. Simon tried to ease me into labour by letting me win the world last card championship and setting up the birth pool.

I was feeling uncomfortable (relieved a bit by the special mattress I had borrowed from the old ward I used to work on) and took this as a positive sign, but when Donna checked again that evening my cervix was softening – she could insert a fingertip! But the baby appeared to be getting a bit stressed by the prostin – each dose making the heart rate dip. I felt guilt at putting the baby under stress and tried hard to be focussed on reassuring the little life inside me that we were supporting it.

It was getting harder to focus as I was getting drawn into the pain. Donna suggested we used the bath to slow down the pains, get some sleep, in order to start again the next day. Simon and the hospital midwife, Heather, settled me in the bath, and I didn’t want to leave – I sent Simon off for some sleep at around 11pm.

Heather was quiet through the night, gently pouring water and occasionally checking the baby’s heart rate. The softness of this time was beautiful. The contractions were strong and regular and I was loosing awareness of time. Heather went to call Donna. On her arrival we went back to the room, put on the tens machine and used the Swiss ball. Nausea and vomiting meant I needed an I.V. and moving around was getting more and more difficult.

We could hear other baby’s first cries as labouring women gave birth and the honour of being around to hear this spurred us on, as did Donna’s report that I was 1cm dilated.

All the tension and sleepless nights had taken their toll on me and despite Donna insisting I rest, I couldn’t. She suggested I use the gas, which I initially resisted and then took to like a pro.

As the sun came up on Sunday morning, I was 3cm dilated and the obstetrician materialised, broke my waters and left again. The warm rush of the water heralding the rush of the changes…”You’ll have a baby by afternoon tea” seemed incredible.

Simon was keeping me focussed and as relaxed as I could be over the sounds emitted by another woman, labouring through the wall. He was the only one with me when at around 8am I said, ”I want to push”. The look of horror on his face was unforgettable as I drowned out his suggestion that I wait until Donna came, with an almighty heave.

The next bit is a blur of the buzzer ringing, no time for the birthing pool, the bustle of unknown midwives arriving, Donna being stern with me in order to get my attention and directing me to pant away the urge to push. Me moving to a kneeling position supported by the bed-head, and Simon close by, crying, and helping me to focus.

When Donna told me to reach down minutes later to touch the baby’s head I found it hard to believe it was real- Donna joking it couldn’t be our baby, as it didn’t have a plait! (We both had long plaits) – and as Simon went to look I realised I couldn’t focus over the intense burning without him and made him stay right by my face.

We didn’t have to wait for long, as the raspberry leaf tea went to work and all at once a blue, slippery form landed with a thud on the bed. The cord around the baby’s neck meant Simon hardly saw the baby. He cut the cord then helped me to turn over, with the both of us trying to reassure our precious baby from the other end of the room, over the noise of the suction and voices, that it was alright –that we were there.

At Donna’s suggestion, Simon remembered to look and told me we had a girl. We were laughing and crying as he held her in his arms. As the two of them were walking towards me, I felt my heart and my life swell – our baby was finally here- and holding that beautiful open-eyed child, our lost homebirth and fears were obscured by the miracle that is our beautiful Isla Ruby.

It was getting later and later – I had thought that I was going to be on time or early with this baby, but the due date came and went without so much as a twinge – everything was healthy and going according to the pre labour checklist – baby OA descending, CTGs all great etc … but no labour – Isla our daughter who was coming up for 20 months old had been two weeks ‘overdue’, and born in hospital after an induction – leaving us feeling tired and excited but a bit gob smacked – the process seemed out of our hands and out of time and place –the scariness of packing that little 4 hour old bundle into the car seat seemed unreal – plus I felt like a homebirth dropout – all these women with these amazing stories – and I just had amazing ideals…

Isla kept saying “Apple, bum” (she had named the baby Apple, was adamant it was a girl and knew that babies came out their Mum’s bums) to no avail…

And the days were ticking on… Simon, my husband, stayed close to home, cell phone on just in case – we had all the contingency plans and apart from a line up for the birth pool we had all the equipment in our new house. Our friend Madeleine said maybe the baby was waiting for the pool to be free or waiting for the spring equinox and the powerful full moon that would bring. Our midwife, Donna had assured us that if we bought and renovated a house our baby would make a timely appearance, she did a series of ‘sweeps’, each successive one showing some progress… I had homeopathic sprays and drops to get things going and decided to go for acupuncture, which I had tried unsuccessfully with Isla.

The first session, on Wednesday (day 11 overdue) was quite powerful and Rod told me that if it didn’t work in 24 hours to get back to him…The baby had definitely descended further after the session and I felt confident this was going to do the trick…. I woke up with the sun and was having quite strong and regular contractions. Simon and I were excited and tried to distract ourselves by having a clean up – Simon found a labradorite ring he had bought as a birthday present the day we conceived this baby and forgotten to give me, it seemed like a good omen – we decided to ring Bridget, Simon’s sister who had kindly offered to look after Isla, and we thought this was it – Isla started to copy my quiet groans and breastfeed merrily to do her bit to get the contractions going, I went and did the gardening and walked about a lot- but by the time Bridge arrived from Auckland I was blobbing out on the couch all contractions had stopped and apart from a scant bit of bloody show, nothing doing… Another visit from the gorgeous Donna who had given me confidence that it was OK to wait, we made airy contingency plans for the off chance that I was just going to hold onto this baby too. Donna was going away for a well deserved family holiday and I had a sense of ease about the possibility of hospital, other midwives etc that had eluded me with Isla’s birth. I still wanted to prove to my family and friends that birth was a natural process best undertaken at home but maybe I was just more relaxed about my role as evangelist…(not usually my character) or maybe just more connected to having a healthy baby…

So I rang the acupuncturist and trotted off for session number two…when the needles went in I was aware that my body heated up considerably and sure enough, lying there, contractions started again…

And kept going – I chowed a huge bowl of pasta for dinner and groaned away, I helped Isla get off to sleep with her usual breast milk before bed and we groaned away. I watched a video and Bridget had to stop it every now and again – yet more groaning – it was getting serious now. Simon and Bridge were doing the timing, setting up the birth pool (yes, Madeleine it did suddenly become free when we needed it!) baking and icing ‘birthday cakes’ - generally staying busy and letting me get on with it. I was creating the space I had dreamed about for Isla –clearing the room with sage, my music, lavender oil burning candles everywhere and my crystals all charged and empowering the space, as well as that silver moon charging in through the curtains… I had also got the little stone we had found on the beach at Iona to put on the mantelpiece just in case Isla’s predictions of a girl came true because we wanted to have Iona in her name…

By 8pm the excitement was starting to give way to “OO boy” and Simon called Donna – she was attending a birth at the hospital and Susan, her partner would come- Simon and I were so glad it was someone we both liked and trusted and when she walked in I had a little cry – “We were doing it!”

It seemed unreal and so real…at about 12 I asked Simon to tell Bridge to go to bed, the chat was annoying and I wanted her ready to look after Isla if she woke - it must be serious, I was getting staunch! They filled up the birth pool until the hot water ran out and then started the pot boiling… We put the tens machine on which helped for a while until I thought “these bloody batteries are going flat”- Susan said it was the strength of the contractions and not the technology letting me down…

I was keen to get in the pool and had trouble waiting for the water to get deep enough- I asked Susan to check my cervix to just make sure I wasn’t hopping in too early Yay!! 5-6cms. In I got and Susan just had to take a photo – she was laughing at how happy I was – the relief was amazing – things were manageable again and the warm water was really soothing- things progressed from there – really wanting to be with Simon each time a contraction came – (as I write this I realise how different it is from Isla’s birth with each intervention marking a stage – Willow’s birth is just a flow…) trying to breathe through each wave, keep my feet relaxed swaying my hips in the water… occasionally getting out to pee… then a couple of contractions really strong and close together, feeling my tailbone being pushed and aching and then a wave of fear – I was scared of what was coming, of the possibility of tearing like I did with Isla… Susan clearly asking me what I was scared of – reassuring me about the effects of the water, telling me I could do it, Simon encouraging me helping me feel strong…one more wee and Susan telling me we needed to decide whether we wanted to have our baby in the water… the baby coming, I decided to go back in… the water wasn’t deep enough for me to stand which is what I felt like, no time to think, just those animal grunting sounds coming through me, feeling the energy just about exploding in my pelvis, Susan telling me after a wave, that Donna was on her way and joking she would probably arrive in time to catch the baby – another wave and I see the headlights swing into the driveway. Donna comes in, makes me hold eye contact with her and tells me positive stuff. Susan tells me to feel my waters bulging and the baby’s head through the sac – I look down and see my arm resting and shaking on the side of the pool and have to really tell myself to shift it so I can feel – Simon doesn’t want to move from my side, soon I feel bubbles as the waters break and then the baby is crowning- despite Susan’s good directions I just push like stink and out scoots the baby – into Susan’s hands and then she gets me to hold her and pull her to the surface – Our baby is here – she is a beautiful colour with wide open eyes and peacefully breathing – a miracle in our lounge!!!

The cord is too short for Simon to see and I need support to keep the baby’s head out of the water -I check for the sex of the baby and am fooled by the swollen vulva and big umbilicus-But then Simon proves Isla right – we have another beautiful daughter! We stay in the pool until I feel like I need to push and the cord has stopped pulsing (one birth pool bonus they don’t tell you about – a very clean baby!) a quick check shows a small 2nd degree tear which doesn’t need suturing…

She is immediately Willow – the one girl’s name we had chosen, and listening to all our voices – and the tears of us all – such a gentle entrance – no tears from Willow until 4 hours later when Donna does her well child check, after we have fizzy wine and birthday cake, tears from the new big sister as she comes into the room and is overwhelmed by the atmosphere – a reminder of what a powerful event had just taken place…

As I think back now I feel so privileged and slightly disbelieving of the sacredness and the sense of awe we experienced, but also the sense that Willow’s birth was so totally normal…Like I kept saying after the birth… I am so grateful…

Thanks Willow Iona Aubrey Rose Koller!

Discovering I was pregnant came as a shock. I had been in London only a matter of days and was about to do a Top Deck Tour and party hard around Europe for five weeks. Needless to say, things changed and I spent my drinking money on souvenirs and can honestly say I remember every day of the trip (no one else on the tour could lay claim to this!).
I arrived home over three months pregnant and excitedly made a doctor’s appointment. I was very bummed out when I was told “he didn’t ‘do’ pregnant women” and “Here, choose someone from this list of midwives”. I was very apprehensive about choosing a midwife as I was no longer with the baby’s father and was worried about being judged or somehow stereotyped. I also wanted an alternative to having the baby in a sterile, clinical institution like a hospital. I wanted to have the baby in an environment where I was comfortable and able to be in control, like home. Initially, I did come up against a lot of resistance from my family and friends, but once they saw how committed I was to the idea, they gave me their full support – on the condition I would go to the hospital if anything went wrong!
I was fortunate to find a midwife, Heather Morrison, whom I really liked and who supported my ideas and values. I was made to feel comfortable and not different, as I had feared. As a result I looked forward to all of Heather’s visits and we built up a great trusting relationship. Being an independent midwife I knew that Heather would be with me throughout my whole labour which was very important in ensuring a positive birthing experience. I was also lucky to have a lovely, straight forward pregnancy which I thoroughly enjoyed so homebirth seemed a safe, realistic option for me.
I went into labour at 4.30am (on my due date) watching Batman on TV. I’d been having niggles for a while and each morning I would wake up disappointed that I was still in one piece. This particular morning after I vomited up my Milo I knew it was all on. I rang Trina, one of my support people and she rushed over all excited. My other support person Kem, drove up from Auckland. Between them they checked all the oil burners, changed the music, rubbed my back, heated up the wheat bags and gave me sips of water (laced with arnica) and rescue remedy when I needed it. Kem and Trina have both had children and they were awesome, calm and anticipated my needs. Heather was there checking that the baby was OK and refocusing my breathing when needed.
After an 8 ½ hour labour my gorgeous daughter Jemima Angel-Rayne was welcomed safely into this life on a bean bag in the lounge. The room was filled with warm, loving energy which was a positive start to our life together. The birth was captured on video and also by way of black and white photos, so I will have lasting (and definitely realistic) memories of my experience. Being able to have Jemima at home was everything that I could have hoped or dreamed it would be. I was comfortable and in a familiar environment. It felt right. I will gladly do it again and hope that Heather will also be able to be there as my midwife too.

Carole Davidson.